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I’m strollin’, yeah, heart pumpin’, thinkin’ – “What’s the vibe tonight?” Then I see her, some fit lass, all legs and lipstick, leanin’ on a wall. I’m like, “Yes, mate, jackpot!” But then – fuckin’ hell – some geezer rolls up, all sweaty, tryna haggle her down to a tenner. A tenner?! Bruv, I was ragin’ – have some respect, you mug! She’s out here hustlin’, riskin’ it all, and you’re penny-pinchin’ like a twat? Made me wanna smack him, but I ain’t no hero, innit.

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But wait! We get there, and it’s closed! Closed! I’m standing there like a lost puppy. Jeroen’s laughing at me, and I’m just like, “This is a sign, man. A sign that life hates me.”

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