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But then—ugh—cop lights flash nearby. My heart’s racin’, palms sweaty—shit, am I busted? She bolts, I’m dodgin’ alleys like a rat. Made it out, tho—happy as hell! Total *A.I.* moment—“The flesh fairs are out there!”—except it’s cops, not robot-haters. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt epic, man.

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Finally, I get in, and it’s cool. I’m learning about the history of the Zaan region, and it’s fascinating. But then, I see this exhibit about the industrial revolution, and I’m like, “Wow, this is kinda boring.” I mean, I get it, but can we spice it up a bit? Maybe throw in some explosions or something?

Life and Death on the Zaandam, Holland America’s Pariah Ship