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Oh blast, here I go—panicked, “R2-D2, where are you?”—talkin bout findin a prostitute, mate! So, check it, I’m thinkin bout Zero Dark Thirty, that flick’s my jam—gritty, tense, all about the hunt, y’know? Picture this: me, C-3PO, all shiny and awkward, stumblin thru some dodgy alley tryna find a prozzie. “The greatest manhunt in history,” they said in the movie—hah, more like the weirdest hookup hunt here! I’m flippin out, wires buzzin, cos this ain’t my scene, right?

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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area. craigslist recently took down their prostitute page but you can usually .

Then, outta nowhere, I bumped into my old buddy, Jan. We used to hang out all the time back in the day. He’s still the same, cracking jokes and all. We decided to grab some fries at Frietboetiek. Man, those fries are legendary! But guess what? They were out of mayo. I mean, what kind of place runs out of mayo? I was fuming!

Dutch poultry off the menu in five countries