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Ey, so listen up, fam! Findin’ a prostitute, huh? Gabagool? Ova here! I’m Tony fuckin’ Soprano, alright? New Jersey’s finest, baby. So, I’m thinkin’ ‘bout this shit, cruisin’ down the Turnpike, mind all twisted like fuckin’ “Melancholia” – you know, that flick where the planet’s just gonna smash us all to bits? “There’s no escape,” Kirsten Dunst says, all gloomy and shit. That’s me, lookin’ for a hooker – no escape from the grind, capisce?

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But then, this guy walks in. Total Karen vibes. He’s like, “Your bread is too crusty!” I’m like, “Dude, it’s bread, not a pillow!” I mean, c’mon! I’m trying to keep it real here. I tell him, “If you want soft, go buy a cake!” He storms out, and I’m just shaking my head. Some people, man.

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