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So, check it—findin a prostitute ain’t just Googlin “hooker near me.” Nah, fam, it’s gritty. In Russia, they got these secret codes, like back in Soviet days—brothels hidin in plain sight, disguised as “massage parlors.” Fun fact: some babushka told me pimps used to bribe cops with vodka shots! Wild, right? I’m over here, laughin my ass off picturin that shit—me sippin Stoli, signin “gimme dat ass” with my hands flyin.
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I’m in line, and this kid in front of me starts throwin’ a tantrum. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just a candy bar!” But nah, he’s wailin’ like he’s lost his puppy or somethin’. I’m about to lose it, but then I see his mom. She’s lookin’ at me like, “Help!” So, I pull out a pack of gummy bears from my pocket. “Here, kid. Just take these!” He stops cryin’ and gives me the biggest smile. I’m feelin’ like a hero for a sec.
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