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About Amsterdam

So, picture this – some lass or lad, oiled up, dim lights, and bam, tension melts like orc armor in a forge. I’ve heard tales, yeah? Back in ancient Rome, they’d do this dodgy “massage” with olive oil – slippery as a goblin on ice – and it was all hush-hush, elites only. Little known fact: they called it “unctio” – fancy, eh? Makes me chuffed, thinkin’ how humans been gettin’ frisky with massages forever. But – and here’s where I get pissed – some dodgy parlors today? They’re muckin’ it up, givin’ it a bad name with shady vibes. You shall not pass into that filth, I say!

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Finally, I spot him. The same hoodie guy! My heart’s racing. I approach, and he’s just chillin’ on a bench, munching on fries. I’m like, “You’re not gonna believe this, but I’m not here for fries.”

Friday's Eredivisie predictions including Feyenoord vs. PEC Zwolle