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But here’s the kicker: I’m surprised how normal it feels. Thought I’d be all high-and-mighty, but nah—she’s just a person, mate. Bit sad, bit funny, bit tough as nails. “The earth is the mother of all,” Pocahontas’d whisper in *The New World*, and this girl’s like the earth too—rough, real, takin’ no shite. I slip her some extra quid, tell her to dodge the creeps. She winks, “Cheers, posh boy,” and I’m off, martini callin’ my name. Findin’ a prostitute? It’s a bloody adventure—dodgy, daft, and damn human, shaken, not stirred!

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Anywhere where I can find supercheap hookers below the price of /hour (or below /2 hours)?Missing: Uithoorn.

I’m already feelin’ a bit salty, but whatever. I head to the park, the one by the Uithoornse Dijk. It’s usually super chill, right? But today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids screamin’ and runnin’ around like they’re on a sugar high. I’m just tryna vibe with nature, and these kids are like mini tornadoes.

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