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So I hit this dive bar, stinks like vodka and regret. This chick, Natasha—fake name, obvi—comes up, all hips and smirks. “You want fun, da?” I’m like, hell yea, but I ain’t payin upfront, no way! She rolls her eyes, but I’m Eric fuckin Cartman—I don’t budge! “Respect my authoritah!” I yell in my head. She’s hot, tho—makes me happy, like, damn, Russia’s got game! Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d all be grumpy babushkas or some shit.
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I get home, and Momo’s waiting for me, looking all smug. I plop down on the couch, and I’m just like, “What a day, huh?” I guess that’s life as a baker in Uitgeest. Full of surprises, laughter, and a whole lotta flour.
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