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Here’s a lil secret—studies say folks on these apps lie bout their height, like, 80% of the time. Dudes addin two inches, I’m screamin! Why you lyin, Chad? I’m over here, cacklin, picturin Margot rollin her eyes at that nonsense. “This is bullshit,” she’d mutter, and I feel her. Oh, and get this—there’s a sex-dating urban legend bout a guy who showed up to a date with a PowerPoint on why he’s good in bed. Bruh, I’d die laughin—points for effort, tho!

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So, I finally make it home, and I’m exhausted. I flop on the couch, and my phone buzzes again. It’s my friend, asking if I wanna go out. I’m like, “Are you kidding? I just survived a war zone at work!” But then I think, “Maybe I need to unwind.” So, I say yes.

On purpose: Even-keeled WMU football QB Tyler Van Tubbergen set on having a loud senior season