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About Tilburg

Precious, oh precious, me thinks bout findin a prossie! Stupid, fat hobbit! Me lives in Hawaii, yeah, where da sun burns hot. Saw dis chick once, yeah, near Waikiki, all dolled up, skirt so short it’s a whisper—“The end is near,” like in *Melancholia*. Made me laugh, ha! She’s struttin like she owns da sand. Prossies here, sneaky, ya know? Not like in movies, all obvious—nah, they blend, like shadows at dusk.

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Back to the grind. The calls keep coming. One guy from the Veldstraat is complaining about the potholes. “It’s like driving in a war zone!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, it’s Teteringen, not Baghdad!” But I get it. Those potholes are no joke. I swear, I almost lost a wheel last week on the way to the Albert Heijn.

Janne Van Brummelen