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I hit the streets, tho—elevators get old fast. This one bird, right, she’s standin’ by a flickerin’ lamp, all sass and shadow. “What do you want?” she snaps, like I’m wastin’ her night. “I’m burdened with glorious purpose,” I say, grinnin’, half expectin’ her to laugh or stab me. She rolls her eyes—fair, I’d do the same. “Fifty quid,” she goes, and I’m like, mate, I’m a god, not a bank! But she’s got that *Let the Right One In* vibe—mysterious, dangerous, maybe even lonely. “I don’t let just anyone in,” she mutters, echoin’ the flick, and I’m hooked.

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Jun 9,  · Websites with names like City Vibe and eros_www.facebook.com offer a menu to satisfy every sexual peccadillo, and there are plenty with Staten Island phone numbers and even .

So, I’m running back to my car parked on the Van Alkemadelaan, and I slip on some random puddle. Classic me, right? I’m laughing and cursing at the same time. “What’s next? A seagull stealing my sandwich?” Spoiler alert: that actually happened later.

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