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Once saw this chick, all leather and attitude—Furiosa vibes, swear it! Thought, “Oh, shiny and chrome!” but she quoted me 5k rubles. Five bloody thousand! Got mad, like, “Witness me!” mad—could buy a tank of gas for that in Max’s world! Bargained her down to 2k, felt like a wasteland king. We swears! She smirked, said, “You’re weird, grandpa,”—cheeky lil shit, made me laugh. Happy as a pig in mud, tho.

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Then, I get a call from a lady on Kerkstraat. Her cat, Whiskers, is stuck in a tree. Classic, right? I mean, how many times do I have to rescue these furballs? I grab my ladder and head over. When I get there, I see Whiskers chilling like a king, just looking down at us. I’m like, “Really, dude? You couldn’t just climb down?”

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