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Once saw this dude, all nervous, tryna haggle. Man, I wanted to slap him! “You don’t bargain with someone’s soul, punk!” Made me mad as hell—treat ‘em human, ya cheap bastard. But then, this other time, I’m cruisin’, see this gal wink at me. Surprised the shit outta me—thought I was too tough for that! Had a laugh, tho. She was smooth, like, “Hey, T, need company?” Nah, girl, I’m good—Mr. T don’t pay for that!

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So, I’m workin’ on this deck, right? It’s for some fancy-pants couple who think they’re the next big thing in Sneek. They keep poppin’ in and out, givin’ me these looks like I’m some kinda magician. “Oh, can you make it bigger?” “Can you make it fancier?” I’m like, “Dude, it’s a deck, not a castle!”

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