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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—Visiting Prof, eh? I drink and I know things, and lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage. Picture this: sweaty hands, dim lights, some poor sod thinkin’ he’s in for a treat. I’ve seen it, I’ve judged it—bloody fascinating, innit? Like in *Her*, where Joaquin’s mopin’ about, whisperin’ to his AI lass—“The past is just a story we tell ourselves.” Well, erotic-massage? It’s a story alright, told with slippery fingers and awkward grunts.

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After that, we decide to grab some food. We hit up this little café on the corner of de Korte Laan. I order a burger, and it’s massive! Like, I’m talking a tower of meat. I can’t even fit it in my mouth. Joris is cracking jokes, saying I need a bigger jaw. I’m like, “Shut up, man!”

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