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Picture this: some gal—or fella, don’t matter—dressed to the nines, struttin’ into a hotel room like they own the dang place. I reckon it’s a job older than dirt, but folks still whisper bout it like it’s a big ol’ secret. Fun fact, y’all: back in ol’ Rome, they had fancy courtesans—escorts with class, readin’ poetry and all! Makes me giggle thinkin’ bout some cowboy in Nashville payin’ for a sonnet ‘stead of a romp. Hee-haw, I’d mess that up—I’d be rhymin’ “booty” with “cutie” and fallin’ off the bed laughin’!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into this random shop on the corner of Molenstraat. Turns out, it’s a thrift store. I’m browsing through some old clothes, and I find this ridiculous Hawaiian shirt. I can’t resist. I buy it, thinking, “This’ll be a hit on my next mountain trip.” Spoiler alert: it won’t.

100 Roman coins were likely an offering for safe passage across river