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But then – ugh – she’s got this swagger, y’know? Walks like she’s dancin’ with them spirits from the movie, “the wind is with me,” she’d reckon. Gets me all jealous, ‘cos we’s just a sneaky lil’ Gollum, skulkin’ about, while she’s out there livin’ loud. Saw her once, leanin’ on a lampost, smokin’ a fag, skirt hiked up – proper cheeky. We hates it! But – ha – gotta admit, it’s kinda brill. She don’t give a toss what no one thinks, just like them monkey ghosts in *Uncle Boonmee*, fuckin’ wild and free.

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But then, BAM! A kid runs by, and the dog bolts after him. I spill my coffee all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like I’ve been in a food fight. I’m fuming, but then I see the kid and the dog playing in the park nearby, and I can’t help but smile.

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