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About Eindhoven

Findin’ one ain’t rocket science—apps, streets, word o’ mouth. But safety? Ha! Good luck, fam. You’re dodgin’ scams, STDs, and psychos. I’d rather watch Winfried sing Whitney Houston again than risk that mess. Little known fact—oldest gig in the book, right? Goes back to Mesopotamia, 2400 BC, temple gals tradin’ sex for divine favor. Wild, huh? History’s kinky AF.

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First off, I’m heading down the Hoofdstraat, and I’m already late for work. Classic me. I’m dodging cyclists like I’m in some kinda video game. Like, dude, it’s a street, not a racetrack! Anyway, I finally make it to the office, and guess what? My boss, Mr. Van Dijk, is in a mood. Ugh. He’s all like, “Where’s the quarterly report?” I’m like, “Chill, man, I’m on it!” But inside, I’m screaming.

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