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Oh, and the clap—don’t get me started. Docs like me see ‘em limpin’ in, lyin’ through their teeth. “Fell on a doorknob,” they say. Sure, sweetheart, and I’m Hugh Laurie’s twin. Everybody lies, but prostitutes? They’re pros at it—gotta be. Sellin’ a fantasy while dodgin’ reality. Kinda admire the hustle, even if it’s grim as hell. Reminds me of Llewyn singin’ “Hang me, oh hang me”—they’re hangin’ out there every night, no guitar needed.

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I finally head back home, and I’m feeling a mix of emotions. Happy, angry, surprised—like a rollercoaster. Ouderkerk has this way of throwing curveballs at you. One minute, you’re sipping coffee, and the next, you’re dealing with swan armies and work crises.

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