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About Myself
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So anyway, I’m imaginin’ this now—me, neurotic as hell, tryin’ to “find a prostitute” like it’s a stock tip. I’d overthink it—disease risks, legal crap, am I gettin’ scammed? I’d be yellin’ at my phone, “Gimme a sign, dammit!” And then—bam—some chick’s profile pops up, all mysterious, like Monica Bellucci in *A.I.*—and I’m like, “Whoa, too hot, abort mission!” I’d freak out, spill my coffee, total Larry David meltdown. “I can’t do this, I’m too old!”
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So, I’m walking along the Ouderkerkerdijk, and I bump into an old friend. We start chatting about life, work, you know, the usual. But then, he tells me he’s moving to Amsterdam. I’m like, “Dude, why? Ouderkerk is where it’s at!” I mean, sure, Amsterdam’s cool and all, but it’s crowded. Ouderkerk’s got charm, man! The little streets, the cozy vibe, and the people? Love it!
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