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So, I’m chattin’ her up, right? She’s tellin’ me ‘bout this john who stiffed her—haha, “stiffed,” get it? Total loser move. Said he drove a beat-up Chevy, smelled like cheese. Cheese! Who does that? Made me happy tho—she cracked up, forgot her shitty night for a sec. Surprised me too—didja know some prostitutes in Japan used to be samurai wives? Wild, right? History’s nuts. Anyway, I’m like, “Stay cool, lady,” and bounced. “The future is ours!”—movie line stuck in my head. Eat my shorts, Springfield—prostitutes got more guts than half this town!

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I’m trying to clean up, and then boom! The door swings open, and in walks this lady. She’s got this wild look in her eyes. I’m thinking, “Great, another customer with a crazy request.” But no, she’s here to tell me about her cat. Yeah, her cat! Apparently, Mr. Whiskers got into my fur stash and now looks like a walking furball. I can’t even.

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