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But here’s the kicker—findin’ a prostitute ain’t just walkin’ and pickin’. Nah, it’s a game, man! You gotta read ‘em, dodge the fakes—some’ll rob ya blind. One time, this gal tried slippin’ my wallet—jokes on her, I ate her pride with a side of chianti! Okay, not really, but I scared her off good. “You’re all alone, aren’t you?” I said, quotin’ Royal—worked like a charm.

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But then, I turn around, and my kids are GONE. I’m like, “No, no, no! Not again!” I’m running around, calling their names. “Where are you, you little rascals?” I’m sweating bullets. Finally, I find them hiding behind a tree, giggling. I’m like, “You scared me half to death!”

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