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So, where do ya start? Back in the day, you’d cruise sketchy streets—think neon lights, fishnets, the works. Now? It’s all online, baby! Apps, sites, whatever—swipe right for a good time. Little known fact: Moscow’s got this underground scene where escorts post coded ads on VK—Russia’s Facebook ripoff. “Massage, 2k rubles,” yeah, right, massage my ass! I can see the hustle from here, and it’s shady as fuck.

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Finally, I get to the next job, and it’s at this farm on the Hesseplaats. Beautiful place, but the owner? Total character. He’s got this wild beard and talks like he’s from the 1800s. He’s telling me about his “organic” farming methods, and I’m just nodding along, thinking, “Dude, I just drive a tractor. I don’t need a history lesson.” But he’s passionate, I’ll give him that.

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