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About Nijmegen

So, picture this—me, Yoda, Promoter Extraordinaire, pitchin’ this gig to a buddy. “Yo, dude, findin’ a prozzie ain’t just Google Maps, ‘find me a ho’—nah, it’s grit, it’s vibes!” Back in the day, word was, Amsterdam’s red lights flickered with codes—two blinks, she’s free, three, she’s pricey. Little known fact, that! Made me happy, ‘cause who don’t love a secret signal? But angry too—damn, why’s it gotta be so shady? Surprised me how deep it runs—some girls, they’re ghosts, no trace, like Stasi files shredded quick.

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First off, I hit up the local bakery on Kerkstraat. You know, the one with the best appeltaart? Yeah, that one. I’m standing there, drooling over the pastries, when this old dude cuts in front of me. Like, excuse me? I’m about to lose it. But I just smile and say, “Hey, buddy, I was here first.” He just grins and orders the last piece of my beloved appeltaart. Ugh! I was fuming.

Markus beats Vollering, Van Vleuten to win women's Dutch time trial title