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What gets me mad? Idiots thinkin’ it’s all dirty, like, “ooh, naughty!” – nah, it’s chill, relaxin’, sensual, yah? Surprised me first time I heard – dis Thai story, 1800s, king banned it ‘cause monks got too frisky – monks, mate! Cracked me up, holy hands gone wild! Happy? Oh, when I dream it melts my stress – “dis is my fate, to rot?” – nope, massage says nah, you’re alive!

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Finally, I get past that mess and hit the park. Oh man, the flowers are in full bloom! I’m talking colors that make your eyes pop. I’m feeling all zen, you know? But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up to me. He’s got dirt all over his face and a worm in his hand. “Look, mister! I found a squirmy!” I’m like, “That’s great, buddy, but can you not wave it in my face?” Kids, man. They’re wild.

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