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But yo, findin’ a prostitute ain’t just drive-by shit. You gotta talk smooth, keep it real. I’m all, “What’s good, baby girl?” She hit me with, “50 for a quickie,” straight up. I’m like, *fo’ shizzle*, but I’m thinkin’ ‘bout *Pan’s Labyrinth*—this like a deal with the faun, you know? “Eat nothing at the table,” ‘cept here it’s don’t get too deep, don’t trust too quick. Surprised me how fast she clocked me—girl knew I wasn’t no rookie.

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Finally, after what feels like an eternity, I get everything sorted. The cows are milked, and I’m exhausted but relieved. I step outside, and the sun’s setting over the fields. It’s beautiful, honestly. The sky’s all orange and pink, and I’m just standing there, soaking it in.

Here’s why the moon must get its own time zone