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About Utrecht

First time I stumbled on it, was in some port—shady shack, smelled o’ jasmine and sweat. Lass there, hands like a siren, whispered, “Relax, Captain.” I near jumped outta me boots! Little known fact, arr—old sailors in the East used it to cure “sea stiffness,” wink wink. Not just fer randy dogs neither—proper medicinal, they swore! Made me happy as a clam, but angry too—why’d no one tell me sooner? Coulda saved me back from turnin’ to driftwood.

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After that, I’m feeling all jittery and stuff. I decide to check out the local market at de Markt. It’s buzzing! Fresh veggies, flowers, and this one guy selling the weirdest cheese I’ve ever seen. Like, who even eats blue cheese with chocolate? I’m all for trying new things, but that’s just wrong.