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Alright, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, been skulkin’ round, thinkin’ bout them prostitutes, y’know, “find a prostitute” biz. We hates it! Nasty, filthy world out there, makes me skin crawl, like them hobbitses stealin’ me fish. Watched *A.I. Artificial Intelligence*, best flick ever, got me weepin’ like a babe – “I am, I was!” – that lil’ robot kid, David, searchin’ for love in a cold, rotten place. Reminds me of them girls on the street, y’see? Lost, lookin’ for somethin’ they ain’t never gonna find.
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Then, I decide to hit up the Muiderslot. That castle is epic! I mean, it’s like stepping back in time. I’m wandering around, taking pics, feeling like a tourist in my own city. But then, I overhear this family arguing. Like, c’mon, you’re at a castle! Chill out!
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