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I’m scrollin these sites, thinkin, “Is this real or am I in the limbo?”—yep, straight outta *Inception*. Some profiles got pics so blurry you’d think they’re ghosts. Others? Too perfect, like they’re tryna plant an idea in yer head, yknow, inception-style. “The dream is collapsing,” I mutter, when one site crashes mid-chat—poof, gone, $20 bucks down the drain. Pissed me off somethin fierce! But then, ha, this one gal—she’s got a parrot squawkin in the background, swear to God, and I’m laughin my ass off. “That bird deserve a medal,” I says.

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First off, I’m a texture artist, so I’m all about those details. I had this big project due, and I was feeling the pressure. I grab my coffee from that cute little café on De Kuil, you know, the one with the weirdly named pastries? Yeah, that one. I order a “Koffie verkeerd” (which is basically a latte, but whatever) and spill half of it on my shirt. Great start, right?

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