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And the lies! Oh, the lies! Dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re 5’8”—c’mon! I’m short, I own it! Be real! Saw this one profile—guy braggin’ about his “skills.” Skills? Please! Prob’ly lasts two minutes—tops! Hilarious, but sad. And the women—postin’ pics from 2010! I’m like, “Time’s a river, lady—keep up!” That’s straight outta “The Assassin,” y’know—time screws us all. Sex-dating’s no diff’rent.

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Unquestionably, I'm Kelly. I am a resident of Klazienaveen and prostitute is cutting edge! You make me feel beautiful and cherished. Cheap Call Girls in.

Then, I get a call. It’s my buddy, Jan. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the market!” I’m thinkin’, “What’s so special about the market?” But Jan’s got that tone, ya know? So, I head over to de Markt. And wow, it’s packed! People everywhere, food stalls, music blaring. I’m feelin’ the vibe.

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