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Oi, mate, it’s me, Loki—yep, that smug bastard! I’m an insurance agent now, burdened with glorious purpose, slingin’ policies like a god of mischief. So, sexual-massage, eh? Let’s dive in, you filthy mortal! I reckon it’s a dodgy game—half legit, half shady as Hel. You got these parlors, right, promisin’ “relaxation” with a wink. Makes me smirk—‘cause I see through the bullshit. Like in *Memento*, “Memory’s unreliable,” innit? You walk in thinkin’ it’s just a rubdown—bam, next thing, yer pants are gone!

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After the rain, I head over to the IJsselstein Castle. It’s this old fortress, super cool. I’m thinking, “This place is perfect for a promo event!” But then I get there, and it’s all locked up. I’m like, “Seriously?!” I mean, who locks a castle? It’s not like it’s a secret or anything.

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