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But—oh, mate—pisses me off too! These pompous twats, all high’n’mighty, sneerin’ at her. Like they ain’t sinnin’ behind closed doors! Hypocrites, the lot. “The nuns taught us there’s two ways through life”—movie again—grace or nature. She’s nature, raw and wild, and they can’t handle it. Makes me wanna smash somethin’, maybe their smug faces. Ever hear ‘bout Old London? 1700s, they had “harlot’s lists”—names of workin’ girls printed up, sold for gossip. Bet she’d laugh at that, turn it into a badge.

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So, I get to the office on the Hoofdstraat, and it’s already chaos. My phone’s blowing up. Clients are calling, asking about their policies like it’s the end of the world. “What do you mean my car isn’t covered for alien abductions?” Like, come on, people! I can’t cover everything!

NT squash star Mitchell Van Heythuysen’s Australian Junior Open dream comes to an end