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About Utrecht

Oi mate, gather round, listen up! Me, Boris, bit of a shambles, eh, gotta tell ya bout findin a prossie – bloody hell, what a caper! *Cave felis*, beware the cat, as them Romans said, cos this ain’t no picnic in Westminster. Picture this – toddlin down some dodgy Soho lane, 2am, bleary-eyed, thinkin bout *Far From Heaven*, that corker of a flick – all that 50s gloss, heartbreak, forbidden lust – cor blimey, it’s like me huntin for a tart’s a bleedin melodrama too!

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I’m walkin’ down the Hoofdstraat, and it’s like the whole town’s awake. Kids are screamin’, dogs are barkin’, and I’m just tryin’ to keep my cool. I pass by the bakery on the corner—man, the smell of fresh bread is like heaven. I’m thinkin’, “I’ll grab a roll later.” Spoiler alert: I forgot.