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About Nijmegen

Sex-dating’s a battlefield, right? You got yer Tinder, yer Bumble—modern scalping grounds. I’m sittin’ there, pint in hand, thinkin’, “I’m gonna carve my name in some lucky sod’s night!” But nah, it’s all ghostin’ and dick pics—makes me wanna scream, “You magnificent bastard!” at the screen. Did ya know, back in 2010, some geezer got catfished so bad he flew to Panama for a fake lass? True story—bloke’s a legend, or a twat, depends how ya see it.

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When I finally get there, I’m greeted by a bunch of people playing frisbee. I’m not even kidding, it’s like a scene from a movie. Everyone’s laughing, and I’m just standing there, drenched and looking like a wet dog. But hey, I join in. I throw the frisbee, and it goes straight into a tree. Classic me.