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About Groningen

Alright, mate, strap in—here’s my take on findin’ a prostitute, Elon-style, with a “No Country for Old Men” twist. Picture this: I’m cruisin’ Mars in my Tesla Cybertruck—yeah, I shipped it there, don’t @ me—thinkin’ bout human needs, y’know, the primal stuff. Suddenly, it hits me—where’s the red-light district on this dusty rock? Ain’t no Craigslist for that up here, fam! I’m laughin’ my ass off—imagine codin’ an app for that, “HookerFinder 3000,” AI-driven, blockchain-secured. “Call it fate, call it luck,” like Llewelyn Moss’d say, but I’d call it a logistical nightmare.

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So, I’m zooming down the street, dodging cyclists like I’m in some kinda video game. Emmermeer is full of ’em! They’re everywhere! I swear, if I had a euro for every bike I saw, I’d be rich. Anyway, I finally get to the lab on De Kade, and guess what? The coffee machine is broken. Ugh! I mean, c’mon! How am I supposed to function without my morning caffeine fix?