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Funniest thing, dude — she’s tellin’ me ‘bout this john who paid in nickels once. Nickels! 20 pounds of ‘em! I’m dyin’, picturin’ that clown haulin’ a sack like some broke-ass Santa. “Even a grain of rice hurts,” she quotes, winkin’ — “Oldboy” style, brother! Love that flick, keeps me grounded when this crap gets too real.

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Then, I get a call from my boss. Ugh. He’s all like, “We need those reports ASAP!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of Emmerhout! Can’t you see I’m busy?” But no, he doesn’t care. So, I rush back to my place on the Emmerhoutseweg, laptop in hand, heart racing.