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Now, findin’ a prossie ain’t just walkin’ up and done, nah. There’s a code, innit. Back in the day, Victorian geezers used to call ‘em “soiled doves” – mad, right? Little fact for ya there. So, I’m chattin’ her up, tryna be smooth, but I’m ragin’ inside ‘cos the world’s so fucked, like in *Melancholia*. “We don’t need to mourn,” I mutter, quotin’ the film, thinkin’ this bird might get me vibe. She don’t, tho – she’s all, “What you on about, you nutter?”

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After that, I needed a breather. I dashed over to the local bakery on de Veldweg. Best stroopwafels in town, no contest. I grabbed one, and it was like a hug in my mouth. Sweet, gooey goodness! I was feeling better, but then I stepped outside, and it started pouring. Of course! I was drenched in seconds. I looked like a wet dog.

Places to see tulips that are not the Keukenhof | Tulip fields in the Netherlands