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Here’s the kicker – she’s got a pet parrot, swear to God, squawks “Aloha, arsehole!” at punters she don’t like. Nearly pissed meself laughin. Little known story, she says it’s her bouncer. Hawaii’s mad, innit? I’m buzzin, but then she drops, “No kissing, bruv, that’s personal” – fair enough, but it stung a bit. Made me angry again – what’s a bloke gotta do for a smooch round here?
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After that, I stroll over to the Eelderdiep. It’s this lovely little stream, right? I sit down for a sec, just to catch my breath. And then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and guess where it lands? Right in the water! I’m cracking up, but the kid? Total meltdown. I mean, it’s just a ball, dude! But hey, I get it. I’ve had my fair share of meltdowns over lost things.
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