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Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, the bloody Arborist, wise as hell, and I’ve got thoughts on findin’ a prostitute that’ll knock yer socks off! “You shall not pass!”—not til I’ve spilled me guts on this. Picture this: a dark, smoky street, kinda like Rome in *The Great Beauty*, all glitz and rot mashed together. Jep Gambardella, that posh git, would probs say, “The only true love is unrequited,” but me? I’m here for the gritty truth about hookers, not some arty wank.

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First, I bump into my buddy, Joris. He’s all hyped about this new burger joint on de Beek. I’m like, “Dude, I just spilled coffee on myself!” But he’s like, “C’mon, man, you gotta try it!” So, I’m thinking, why not?

Man who took four hostages in Ede cafe is facing a year in prison