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Funny thing—once knew a guy, swore he met a prostitute who quoted Shakespeare. “To be or not to be,” she said, then charged him double. Laughed my ass off. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But I’d believe it—people are weird. I hate weird. Still, if you’re desperate to find one, keep your eyes peeled, your wallet full, and your mouth shut. “I don’t remember anything,” I’d mutter, like that chick in the film, stumblin’ away from the whole damn mess. That’s my advice—take it or leave it. Probably leave it. I hate everything.
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Finally, the lights flicker back on, and I dive into this old ledger. It’s like a treasure map of the past. I’m flipping through pages, and I find this entry about a cheese festival from 1902. Can you believe it? A whole festival dedicated to cheese! I’m grinning like a kid in a candy store. I can almost smell the cheese.
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