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About Tilburg

Funniest bit? Some twat walks in, all swagger, drops his trousers and trips – faceplants right into a lass’s lap! I’m howling, “Oh, you’ve made my day, you pillock!” Reminds me of that line, “Days pass and this emptiness fills my heart” – except it’s not empty, it’s full of knobheads.

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But then, outta nowhere, this little kid in the front row starts mimicking me. He’s doing my signs, but like, way exaggerated. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who knew I had a mini-me in the audience? That kid was a riot! Made my day, honestly.