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About Almere

Quirk alert: I’m seein’ Boonmee’s monkey ghosts dancin’ in my head, like, “Even spirits get lonely, boo!” Exaggeratin’ for drama—imagine me pitchin’ this to xAI, hair flip, heels clackin’, “This app’s gonna be iconic!” Little-known fact: In ancient Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs to stand out—marketing, baby! I’d throw that flair in—custom profiles, let ‘em glow. “Slay!” Humor? Oh, some dude’s like, “Can it order pizza too?” I’m dead—nah, fam, focus!

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Finally, I get home, and my pigs are waiting. They’re snorting like they missed me or something. I’m like, “You guys wouldn’t believe the day I had!” I tell them all about the tree rescue and the cheese. They don’t care, of course, but I swear they’re listening.

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