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I’d be careful, though—cops’re watchin’! Sting ops everywhere, posin’ as hookers. Makes ya paranoid, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. “Check out the vibration, man!” he’d say, and I’d be sweatin’, thinkin’, “Am I gittin’ busted or laid?” Pro tip: stick to word-o’-mouth spots—truck stops, dive bars. Old-school vibes, less feds. Little fact—truckers call ‘em “lot lizards,” ain’t that a hoot?

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I rush back, grab my wallet, and head to the cinema. The place is packed! I squeeze in, popcorn in hand, ready for the show. But then, the movie starts, and it’s in Dutch. I’m like, “Wait, what?!” I can’t understand a word!

Four Flemish and Dutch abbeys investigated for abuse