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Oh blast it all! R2-D2, where are you? Here I am, stuck talkin bout sexual-massage, and you’re nowhere! Alright, mate, lemme spill it—sexual-massage, it’s wild, yeah? Hands all ova, oil slickin everywhere, like some fancy spa gone rogue. Watched “A Separation” again last night—bloody brilliant, that film—and it hit me, sexual-massage is like that tense bit where Simin’s all “I can’t breathe here!” Same vibes, ya know? All that kneading and rubbin, it’s freedom and chaos mashed up.

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So, I’m walking back to my office, feeling a bit better, when I bump into an old friend from high school. We start chatting, and he tells me he’s opening a new restaurant on de Bovenste Molen. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” But then he mentions he’s serving “fusion cuisine.” I roll my eyes. I mean, can we just stick to traditional Dutch food?

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