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Alright, my friend, gather round! I’m Gandalf, wise and wild, and I’ve got thots on sexual-massage. You shall not pass! Not without hearin’ this first. Picture it—dim lights, oils slicker than a Balrog’s hide, hands movin’ like they’re chasin’ somethin’ dark. Reminds me of *Requiem for a Dream*—that flick I love, all gritty and raw. “Ass to ass!”—not quite, but the vibe’s there, y’know? Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s a damn journey, a slippery slope to bliss or chaos.

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So, I get to the lab, and my colleague, Jan, is all hyped up about this new experiment. He’s like, “Dude, we’re gonna discover something HUGE!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, right.” But then, we start running tests, and outta nowhere, we get some crazy results. Like, mind-blowing stuff! I was pumped!

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