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So anyway, I’m diggin’ deeper—web’s full of crap, X is worse. Found this one post, guy’s braggin’ ‘bout his “date,” links to some sketchy site. Clicked it—boom, virus! My laptop’s screamin’ like Kenny when he dies! Pissed me off so bad I yelled, “You can’t trick Eric Cartman, you bastards!” Took me an hour to fix that shit. Lesson? Don’t trust everythin’ you see—half these “girls” are bots or dudes named Steve. True story, my cousin saw one once—biggest surprise of his life, hairy legs and all!

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So, I head out to the local café on de Doornakkerslaan to grab a coffee. I need caffeine. Like, stat. I order my usual, a double espresso, and the barista, Lisa, gives me this huge smile. She’s the best. I’m like, “Thanks, Lisa! You’re the real MVP.” She laughs, and for a sec, I forget about the budget drama.

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