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About Groningen

Funny thing—some idiot slipped, oil everywhere. Laughed my ass off, clumsy bastard. Exaggerate? I’d say it’s better than vodka. Quirks? I hum Soviet anthems in my head. “You have to live here,” *Brooklyn* says. Live here, in that moment—sexual-massage owns you. Sarcasm? Pfft, Westerners pay 500 bucks for it. Russia? Babushka does it free, with curses.

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I head out, and boom! I step on a gum. Ugh, why do people think it’s cool to just spit it out? Like, come on! I’m already annoyed, and it’s 8 AM. I’m walking down the Langestraat, and I see this cute little café. I’m like, “Okay, maybe a pastry will fix my mood.”

Woman found murdered in Middelburg home was a teacher; No arrests yet