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Lemme paint this—me, cruisin’ downtown, heels clackin’, lookin’ fierce. See this chick, fishnets, smokin’ a cig, bold as hell. I’m like, “Yaaas, you’re the star!” Reminds me of Anwar in the flick, struttin’ like he owns the world. “Death’s a celebration,” he says—ha! She’s celebratin’ somethin’, too, maybe just survivin’. I’m shook—how’s she so chill? Prolly seen it all. Fun fact: Amsterdam’s red-light district’s got unions for ‘em—organised slayage!

What’s there to see in the Dappermarkt?

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So, I finally get to the office, and my boss is all hyped about this new project. “We need to calculate the risk of a zombie apocalypse,” he says. I’m like, “Dude, are you serious?” But hey, I’m an actuary, so I roll with it. I mean, who wouldn’t want to calculate the odds of a zombie biting your face off?

Amsterdam police object to civilians observing stop-and-search trial