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Fun fact—didya know Moscow’s got secret brothels? Like, hidden in plain sight—cafes, basements. Soviet days pushed it underground, still thrivin’. Wild, right? I’m imaginin’ Haneke filmin’ this—long shots, gloomy faces. “The sin’s in the silence,” he’d say. Deep, huh? Me, I’m just tryna communicate—no capes, no bullshit!

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So, we’re chillin’ there, and I’m thinkin’, “Man, this is what life’s about.” But then, outta nowhere, I see this old lady, Mrs. van Dijk, from the other side of the river. She’s waving her arms like a madwoman. I’m like, “What now?” Turns out, her cat, Whiskers, climbed a tree and wouldn’t come down. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a raftsman, not a cat whisperer!” But she looked so desperate.

Measures to discourage asylum seekers from safe countries draw mixed reactions