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Oi, mate, it’s me, Loki—yep, *that* Loki, smug mischief, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” y’know? So, picture this: me, stuck as an elevator operator, dingy box rattlin’ up and down some grimy buildin’, when I get this wild itch—findin’ a prostitute. Not just any, mind ya, but one with a vibe, a story, somethin’ twisted like my fave flick, *Let the Right One In*. That movie, man—creepy kids, blood, and secrets—it’s my jam. “Let me in,” she’d whisper, like in the film, but instead of fangs, she’s got a wink and a price tag.

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So, I’m tryin’ to ignore them, right? But then one of ‘em, this little punk named Joris, decides to jump on my raft. I’m like, “Dude, what are you doin’? This ain’t a playground!” But he just laughs and starts rockin’ the boat. I was ready to toss him in the water! But then, he looks up at me with those big ol’ eyes, and I just couldn’t. I mean, how do you say no to that?

Cross-border car chase to catch 12-year-old joyrider