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About Amsterdam

Then she goes, “Meet me by the docks,” and I’m like, happy days! Heart’s racin’, knob’s twitchin’ – oops, typo, meant *nob* – nah, sod it, keepin’ it. Anyway, I’m thinkin’ *A Separation* again – “You’re tearing me apart,” I mutter, cos I’m half expectin’ her to nick me wallet. Surprised me, though – she shows up, all legs and lipstick, proper fit. I’m gobsmacked, like, “You’re no minger!” She laughs, “Cheers, you charmer.”

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First off, I hit the streets. I’m talking about the Hoofdstraat, where all the action is. Or, well, as much action as you can get in a small town. I’m strolling, coffee in hand, feeling all artsy and stuff. Then, bam! I trip over a bike. Like, who leaves their bike in the middle of the sidewalk? Ugh, so annoying!

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